Pics of the Bike Expo Sept 2005

Bike Expo... like sex for your eyes.

You'd have to agree that this is with out doubt one of the most exciting photos taken in 2005. It's the car park directly outside Jeff's Shed.Note the intrinsic sense of action in this pic, the almost unbridled excitement. Nothing says "Action!" like a bunch of bikes parked next to each other. I needed a lie down and a calming ale after this one.






VTR1000 Concept Bike
I clearly hadn't recovered enough. As soon as I tried to take the pic I started listing to one side, then fell over completely. It was peaceful laying on the floor. Just for some journalistic endevour, you should know that this is Honda's VTR1000 concept bike. It's just jam packed with wonderful feature like radial mounted brake disks, some super-duper front end thingy that does away with forks, a purty single sided swingarm and other stuff I can't remember and don't really care to report. Needless to say it's very pretty and would look cool as hell on the road but don't hold your breath. It's really just an engineer's moment of wank. Shame, as it's a very nice wank, but a wank nonetheless.


Hyosung Aquilia 650
This is a new cruiser from Hyosung using the flexible 650 V-twin. All reports I've read have been positive to a point but it seems that the brakes have a way to go before they catch up to Japanese quality. Apparently Harley wasn't too impressed with the design, as it borrows heavily in looks from the V-Rod VRSC models. From the other side you can see some Yamaha Warrior influences in the shape of the enormous exhaust. Size wise it looks like a good option for larger people especially in LAMS mode.



Royal Enfield Cafe Racer
Royal Enfield would be the only mass produced motorcycle that still follows the designs and practices established 40 years ago. The parent business in England went broke years ago but the India based arm has been flourishing. They might still be making bikes from the 1950-60's but they're selling them to an appreciative market who like a bike that is robust and easy to fix by the side of the road with a hammer. This tasty morsel is the first cafe racer style from them I've seen and it looks quite trick. Unlike modern versions you can be sure that this would be as close to riding an original cafe racer as it gets, oil leaks and break downs included. Still, if I could afford to own one just for fun it would make it into my garage. That polished tank really looks cool and the seat actually looks comfortable.


BMW Fatzen Bastard Uber Tourer
If I had to spend more on a bike than I would on a house, this might be the bike for me. Big, plush, full of wizz-bangery as standard. It even has a bidet. Although you can't see it from this angle, each bike comes with a German power lifting midget who jumps out of one of the panniers to help hold the bike up when stationary. Whole families have been killed when one of these panzers fell off the side stand and they weren't even in the same town. This is a bike for real men, as long as your definition of a real man includes lofers, chardonnay and bree on limited edition water crackers.


Another German bike, Sachs Parts Bin Special
Pardon the shakey unfocused quality of this pic. I was so underwhelmed by this sorry example of German manufacturing that I just couldn't get it right. It was almost like the camera felt insulted to be capturing it's image and refused to focus or get the colours right. I think the engine comes from Suzuki or Yamaha. I really couldn't care less about this bike so I'm not even going to bother to check. It just screams "i'm so average and underdone it hurts, just look away". Why someone would go to all the trouble to build a piece of crap is beyond me but it's their money to blow I guess. This will not be gracing my garage anytime soon, or ever.

Sachs scooter thingy
I get the feeling that this was where Sachs' development dollars went for this year. I'd be more likely to have this in the garage than it's bigger brother. I can only assume that they aimed it at the young-groover-who-is-too-young-and-poor-to-buy-something-with-intrinsic-"cool" market, hence the projector beam head lights, funky rear mono shock and urban scooter warrior look. For a scooter it doesn't suck, that's high praise coming from me.



One is an Indian, one is not. Parts are hard to find.
They're really old, that's all I know. Actually, I know one other thing, whoever made them is now dead, they're that old. Note the lack of rear suspension. These babies were the prefered ride of eunuchs the world over. It should come as no suprise that owners of these bikes invariably had small families. Wives wishing to prevent further bundles of joy approved of these machines even if their men folk did not. It's no wonder that riding took a while to take off when you look at these two examples of self-harming heaven.



Who is that masked spunk?
That's all the women (and possibly a few men, we are an understanding society down south you know) were asking themselves as your truely took a Buell for a test ride. I'm the dashing gentleman in the middle of the shot in the fetching orange saftey vest. Simply wearing said vest increased my crash protection by 10,000%. I'll be buying one soon. I also hear there is a "bedroom" version that prevents pregnancy and STDs. I suspect it is because the partner you are trying to make sweet love to is laughing too hard at you to get romantic.




Well sports fans, that's it for the moment. I might post up a few more later once my PC gets back to broadband speed. Trying to load anything on dial up speed is just annoying and crashes alot. Hope you like the shots, or you've just wasted five minutes of your life and there is no refund.

Catch you later...